Nightmare at Hogwarts MWAHAHAHA!
by PickledFurby
Summary: It's a reallly stupid fic me n a friend wrote 'bout 4 years ago. Flame if you want. Read if you dare. And, if you don't understand a friggin word of it, you're not alone... rated PG for some scary moments...


It was a clear brisk morning at Hogwarts School. Harry was just about to go down to the Great Hall for breakfast when Ron came running in to the dormitory.  
  
Ron: Harry! Harry! Hermione is missing!!!  
  
Harry: What?!?!  
  
Ron: You heard me, your not deaf are you??  
  
Harry: Ehh??  
  
Ron: You heard me stupid! Now don't play games with me! She is missing!  
  
Harry: I doubt that. How could Hermione, one of the smartest people we know that CAN'T get lost, go missing?!?  
  
Ron: Uh... yeah, that's her all right. But she is MISSING!! GONE! DISSAPPEARED!!!  
  
**Sci-fi music**  
  
Hermione: Go back to sleep...  
  
(Harry and Ron both looked at the bed beside Harry's and were surprised to see Hermione looking up at them from under the covers.)  
  
Harry: Hermione!! What are you doing in here? It's the BOYS dormitory, not the girls!  
  
Hermione: Well, Crookshanks wanted to sleep in my bed, so I let her, what's the big deal?  
  
Ron: Well, your a girl, or as scientists say, female, and me and Harry are boys, aka, male...  
  
Hermione: Don't get technical with me, Weasley. Besides, you two have been in the GIRLS' BATHROOM before...  
  
Ron: That's only because Harry wanted to see Myrtle since he LOVES her soo much!  
  
Harry: I-DO-NOT!!!!!!  
  
Hermione: Well if you don't mind, would you two shut up so I can get my beauty rest?  
  
Both: NO!  
  
Hermione:FINE THEN I'LL GO BACK TO MY DORMITORY WHERE I'M NEEDED...  
  
* She sniffles as she leaves with her head down...*  
  
Ron: What is up with her?  
  
Harry: I don't know, I think I'll go and check on her...  
  
Ron: No, I will.  
  
Harry: No, I saw her first!  
  
Ron: But, I know her better! She stayed at my house twice!  
  
Harry: Well, she hated you first because you talked about her right when she was walking right next to us! And besides do you think I would have had her over at my Uncle's house?? Do you??  
  
Ron: FINE! YOU GO AND LOOK FOR HER! I AM GOING TO GO AND EAT!  
  
**He stared at Harry long and hard. Then, all of a sudden, he jumped up and ran out of the room**  
  
Harry: Ron-- WAIT!! Don't do it! I saw her first I told you!! I know where your going and I'm not going to let you do it!!!!  
  
Hermione: **giggles** You two are so funny when you are mad! **all smiles**  
  
Harry: Yeah, well I saw you first, and didn't you hate Ron before me??  
  
Hermione: **thinks for a moment** No, I didn't like either of you...  
  
Harry: Well you heard Ron talking about you and that's the reason you were in that bathroom about to get killed by a Troll. And I was the one who talked Ron into going to the bathroom to help you!  
  
Hermione: And I still wonder today why you did that. Anyway, we better get down to breakfast, the owls will be arriving soon.  
  
**Harry and Hermione walked to breakfast together. The owls arrived as soon as they walked in. Ron wasn't speaking to Harry but he was acting very sweet to Hermione trying to get Harry jealous.**  
  
Hermione: You know, I really don't know why you two have been fighting soo much lately. I mean, you use to--Oh hey honey!  
  
**Harry and Ron both looked at who Hermione was greeting and their mouths fell open when they saw who it was...Malfoy**  
  
Malfoy: Oh- hello dearest. I brought you some flowers and candy.  
  
Hermione: Oh, how sweet of you! Please, sit down! I saved a seat for you!  
  
**Harry and Ron's mouths were both still open**  
  
Malfoy: Oh, honey, you shouldn't have... I don't want to cause any trouble, but why are these two ignorant pea brains doing here?  
  
Ron: Ignorant pea brains my butt! What did you do to her?!?  
  
Malfoy: What are you talking about Weasley?? Hermione and I have been going out for 3 weeks now. I just got permission from Professor McGonagall to sit with her.  
  
**Hermione and Malfoy stare into each others eyes romantically**  
  
Harry: (opened mouthed, shakes himself out of shock) Hermione, why would you do such a thing? After he called you a Mudblood and everything! I mean it, what is going on here?!  
  
Hermione: He never called me a Mudblood...(then she just turned to Malfoy as if nothing had just happened out of the ordinary)  
  
Malfoy: I remember I did call you that once, but I didn't mean it, you know how boys pick on girls when they like them. Well, that's what I was doing. I'm sorry...  
  
Just then, Snape shot one of his normal glares down in Harry's direction, except, it wasn't at Harry, It was at Malfoy...  
  
Harry: I really don't know what is going on...I give up...I am getting out of here. Are you coming, Ron?  
  
Ron: Well, um... aren't we in a fight??  
  
Snape: (interupting) Hello Harry...I was just wanting to congradulate you on your fine job at the quidditch game yesterday. I only wish that you could be in my house. I positively hate all of my childeren. If only they were more like you... **he sighed and walked off, looking dreamily at the ceiling...**  
  
Malfoy: Did I just hear Snape say that he hated all of his children?? What about me??  
  
Harry: dunno... (and he walked off, also, muttering to himself about all of the Slytherin's going mad...)  
  
Hermione: Honey, I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm sure he likes you better than everyone else! But if he doesn't then maybe we can talk Professor McGonagall into putting you in our house. And you could sleep in the same dormitory as Harry and Ron. Wouldn't that be just splendid?!  
  
Malfoy: Marvelous...( he said it with a hint of sarcasm)  
  
Hermione: Professor McGonagall!! Would you mind coming over here??  
  
Ron: I'm getting outa here! Harry! wait up!  
  
*Professor McGonagall strode over to the table**  
  
Professor: Yes Hermione, dear?  
  
Hermione: Listen, I was just wondering if you could switch Draco here from Slytherin to Gryffindor... Would that be ok with you?  
  
Malfoy: What?!?  
  
Professor: Why of course, anything for you. I'll tell Professor Dumbledore right now...  
  
Malfoy: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  
  
**Just then, four childeren, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy, woke with a start.**  
  
Hermione: (sweat trickiling down her face) Holy cricket! I had the worst dream!  
  
Malfoy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--  
  
Ron: Bloody Wicked!  
  
Malfoy: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--  
  
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Malfoy: HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The end...That's all folks! 


End file.
